What teacher appreciation really looks like

Every May, we celebrate Teacher Appreciation Week. We send in gift cards, sign thank-you notes, decorate classroom doors with clever puns. Nice, right?

Meh.

Don’t get me wrong—teachers love those gestures. But if that’s where it stops, we’re missing the point.

As a former classroom teacher and now the Director of Content for an educational publisher, I’ve seen teaching from several angles. And I can tell you—appreciation should be so much more than bagels in the faculty lounge.

Understanding the teacher's mental load

Consider this. People often underestimate the mental load of teaching. Studies have documented teachers making up to 1,500 decisions in a day. That means constant, high-stakes choices—about instruction, classroom management, student safety, emotional regulation, and more—happening minute by minute, all day long.

We make thousands of decisions, but we’re not actually in control. Not in the way people imagine. There’s very little autonomy built into the day. Bathroom breaks? You'd better hope it’s your planning period. Lunch? Usually a cracker in one hand while replying to emails in the other. I once had a colleague come down with a stomach bug and quietly get sick into a trash can just outside her door while waiting for a sub to arrive. I don’t know of many other occupations where basic bodily functions have to be scheduled … or skipped.

And then there’s the “Should I Call In Sick?” spiral. Taking a day off as a teacher means sub plans that take longer to write than conducting the actual lesson. It means hoping someone actually shows up to cover you. It means knowing your students will probably have a chaotic day without you. So teachers do a mental calculation every time: Am I sick enough to deal with the fallout of being absent? You're still responsible for what happens in your absence, but you have no control over it.

Even your most personal decisions might get shaped by the structure of the job. I planned the births of both of my children around the school calendar. I intentionally aimed for late spring birthdays to create the least amount of disruption for my students. Even while building our own families, we’re thinking about yours.

As a literacy specialist, Kathleen convinced her students to listen to the story by allowing them to play with her hair while she read.

But what other option is there? Because here’s the hard truth: if a teacher “phones it in,” it’s not the system that pays the price. It’s the students. Friends outside of education would suggest to me, “Just don’t assign essays. Just put on a movie.” But it doesn’t work like that. Easing up doesn’t stick it to The Man; it shortchanges the kids. And they’re the reason you’re still trying.

Teaching is a job you carry home—in your bag and in your heart. My son’s current teacher asked parents to send her their kids’ activity schedules: sports games, dance recitals, play performances. Her goal? To attend at least one activity for every student because she knows what it means for a child to see their teacher cheering them on from the crowd. 

Kathleen and a colleague dress up for 80s day to celebrate school spirit.

Building lasting student-teacher relationships

Connection comes before content. Kids don’t learn unless they feel safe, known, and cared for. That’s why teachers spend so much energy building relationships. It’s not fluff; it's the foundation.

And it’s those relationships that lead to the moments that remind us why we do this.

Like the time I was called down to the office for something vague and routine. When I returned, I found my classroom decorated top to bottom with streamers and snacks. My students had planned a surprise baby shower for me.

Kathleen's students surprised her with a baby shower.

Or the email I received from a former student, years after graduation. She had just arrived in Austria to begin her study abroad program. She told me it was because I’d shared my own study abroad experience that she decided to go. Students even attended my wedding!

Students attended Kathleen's wedding!

Practical ways to show teacher appreciation

Relationships come before rigor.

So when we talk about appreciating teachers, let’s go beyond the coffee mug.

• Value their expertise. Teachers are highly trained professionals with deep knowledge of pedagogy, child development, and subject matter. Trust their judgment, and resist the urge to second-guess their methods based on a single comment from your child. I used to tell my students’ parents, “I’ll only believe half of what they tell me happens at home if you only believe half of what they tell you happens at school!”  

• Trust their perspective. Teachers see your child in a different environment than you do. When they raise concerns or offer praise, it’s coming from hours of careful observation.

• Extend grace. If a teacher forgets to return an email or seems curt in a meeting, assume best intentions. They're often juggling dozens of responsibilities while trying to focus on individual students.

• Include them in the wins. If your child comes home proud of something they accomplished or excited about something that happened in class, let the teacher know. It’s nice to break up the critical parent emails with positive ones!

• Sweat the small stuff. Appreciation doesn’t have to be flashy. A sincere “thank you” at pickup. A quick email after a long week. A note at the end of the year that says, “You mattered.” These aren’t small to a teacher.

And most of all—show up.

It’s hard to appreciate what you don’t understand. And it’s hard to understand school life if you’re not part of it.

Most schools rely on the same few caregivers to do everything. The PTSA meetings. The book fairs. The field trips. The fundraisers. 

Pitch in! Read to the class. Decorate a bulletin board. Run a station on Field Day. Reshelve books in the library. Attend the school play. Collate the worksheets. Restock the tissue supply. And for heaven’s sake, please pull all the way forward in the bus loop!

While you’re there, watch how your child behaves. Notice how other kids interact. Take in the noise, the chaos, the brilliance, the joy. See what teachers do every single minute to make learning possible.

Because seeing it for yourself changes what Teacher Appreciation really means.